So.. here I am. With absolutely no control (because I gave my life up to God and He's in control). I'm scared, I'm dirty, I feel alone and I'm running on E. I have no idea where God is driving me and I am trying to fix what is wrong. I realize I am responsible for Sammy because he cannot go to the store on his own and buy tires, oil, windshield wipers and give himself a bath. I have to do that. Yet, I cannot grasp that I am the car, and God is the driver. God is in charge of fixing me.
Like mother like car.. Sammy and I are one and the same. Yet in my case.. I am the car, God is the driver. The road I am currently on is really bumpy, there are so many sharp twists and turns, it's extremely muddy, I can't see well at all, it's pouring rain, it's dark and foggy too, and I am afraid God is driving me off a cliff.
God has to clean me out and throw away the trash and dust off the ash and pull out the miscellaneous items that have piled up in me. He and I both want what's on the outside, to mimic the inside. And over the past few months, it has been growing and not decreasing. I know I need maintenance. But I don't know where I am or if there is a spot to rest any time soon so I can heal.
A car's engine is the "heart" of the vehicle an needs to be maintained with the proper amounts of motor oil.
The purposes of motor oil are to-
Lubricate: When a car is started, engine parts create friction in the motor. Motor oil creates a slippery coating of lubrication so that the moving parts can move more fluidly. Without the oil, the friction in the moving parts of the motor is greatly compromised and the compression is decreased, resulting in the inability to reach optimal levels of speed and performance.
Protect: The coating of the lubricant covers the metal that move against each other. If the motor oil wasn't there, it would wear the metal down and overtime, fail to work properly.
Clean: It also cleans the debris from the engine. As the oil moves throughout your engine, it picks up any debris when it travels and collects inside an oil filter.
Cool: Motor oil is also responsible for cooling parts of your engine. Without motor oil, your car is more susceptible to frequent overheating.
Restore: Some motor oils are also responsible for engine restoration. Synthetic and high mileage oils are formulated to restore the function of your engine.
Basically, as I read all those facts about motor oil (Yes, I googled that. I had NO idea what motor oil was really used for until reading that and thinking of it spiritually. Yeessshh it's obvious I am a girl. You still love me though.) I realize that staying in God's word and in a constant relationship with Him, is keeping myself up to date and conscious of my mileage. So I can let Him know I need a break and I need restoration. I've been in a relationship with God for a long time, and I know I'm very self sacrificing (not being proud).. I try and do everything and be happy, keep my mood up, do the right thing, be there for my friends and family, do this and do that.. ect. But I never pay attention to my own body and my own spirit and my own mind because I felt selfish. My relationship with God and His love is here to lubricate my life so that when troubles and bumps and curves come around.. I'm covered from the harsh friction in my heart. His love and relationship is here to protect me and cleanse me of the debris that I pick up from living life. His love is here to cool me when I'm angry and frustrated and overwhelmed by life. His love is here to restore me.
It wasn't one big thing that happened to make me in need of maintenance. Life happens. You need a tune up sometimes, a vacation, a cleaning, an oil change, a check here and some air here. It's not that I'm broken or sinning or failing. I just need help to be rejuvenated. I am truly dependent on God because I can't do anything without Him... especially if He is driving my life.