About Me

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I am far from perfect. I fear a lot of things; most realistic, yet all irrational because the only thing I should truly fear is God. I find myself fearing the little things and being afraid of God. I fall every day: I have cursed, I have judged, I have neglected to do God's Will, I have put my foot in my mouth countless times and I have given up. It is obvious that I cannot live life on my own. It is utterly impossible. I am dependent. I am needy. I am selfish. I am sinful. I am human.. However, the most important thing about me; I am forgiven.


Be an owl.

Okay, so; wow. That is all I have to say. Actually, no.. I could say a lot of things and it still wouldn't even cover what I feel right now. I could say joyful, excited, pumped, thankful, loved, awed, humbled, convicted, ect. And I will.. but I also want to say that tonight when Pastor Brian was preaching, he said that P. Mark said something that he completely agrees with. And actually, I agree with them because it has been on my heart a lot lately too.

"This youth group was going to do something really amazing".

Yeah... was. That makes me sad. Like really, really, really sad. I want to do something about it. I don't know what though, other than to trust God. But so badly I want to go back "all in". Do a hard thing. Step up to the plate. Be the generation with a selfless faith. Worship more fully. Sing more passionately. Raise my voice like thunder. Dance like David danced. Walk with my eye on the prize. Live like I am dying. Do what Jesus would do. Love more deeply. Live more Christlike...

I could say more, but I think you got the point on that subject.

What also touched me tonight was this song that Mike sang by Hillsong.

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes


I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing (because I want to raise my voice for Him but we need to join together to make a difference.)

Hosanna in the highest [x2]

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

(Yeah, we definitely need to walk a little more selfless. We need to rise up to be what we are called for. Our calling is to follow Jesus in everything.)

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

(Enough said. God is doing something. We need to be on our knees.)

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours (This one is just so intimate and amazing. Yeah.)
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to

[Chorus x2]

Hosanna in the highest

So, yes, this is going to be my song for the week. But on a last note, my God is amazing and I am just awed that He chose me; before I was even born; to know Him. To love Him. To do His will. For His glory. To make a difference. To do what Jesus did and minister to others in anything and everything I do. He loves me.
Yeah.. I'm definitely going to be praying that God will use me to help bring back the amazing youth group God called us to be, for His Glory. But over all, even before God answers my prayers, I'm going to be an owl and look only in front of myself...(Proverbs 4:25) what about you?




Coming back off of my post on demons; lately, and I'll be completely honest, I've been attacked a lot. So much that I feel like giving up. But I've been talking to my past small group leader/mentor, another mentor, and my mother.  They are all older, wiser and are helping me through  this time, keep reminding me to be hopeful, not to give up, to trust God, and to not to be hard on myself.. ect ect ect. It is very hard and I've been getting angry and felt despair towards the situation. Especially this week. I've needed more reminders and I have felt that what I am doing isn't working and I've felt more scared, almost hopeless. But today, as I have been praying a lot lately of course, God gave me a song that I'd forgotten. This song is going to remind me constantly why I need to show Joy in dark times. Why I need to strive for God when I can't see good. Why I need to be calm when I want to scream at my siblings. Why I do random acts of kindness... and why, why I praise the God I praise.


The enemy has been defeated
And death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make Your praises loud

Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
Shout unto God with a voice of praise
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph
We lift Your name up
We lift Your name up

... yeah. I thought so. :] 

Anyway, there were also these verses that God gave me through friends and through my personal dive into Him.

 "Keep it up, and don't let anyone intimidate you or silence you. No matter what happens, I'm with you and no one is going to be able to hurt you. You have no idea how many people I have on My side in this city." Acts 18:9 & 10

"...despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us." Romans 8:37

"Do not fear, for I am with you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you in My righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

So, rebuking my doubt, rebuking the fear, rebuking the confusion.. I'm resting in God's hand and shouting victory because that is truly why I have Joy.


Never Alone

Mercy Me - Never Alone.
It's been one of those days
When everything just feels so far away
Hope don't be a stranger
Won't you help me make it through today?

Then a voice comes calling out to me
You're never alone cause I am with you
And I will always be
I will hold you cause you belong to me
You're never alone cause I'll be with you
For all eternity

Someone tell me how I
Stumble into doubting all the time
Some days I'm all together
And other days I stand here asking why

Then a voice comes calling out to me
You're never alone cause I am with you
And I will always be
I will hold you cause you belong to me
You're never alone cause I'll be with you
For all eternity

Then a voice comes calling out to me
You're never alone cause I am with you
And I will always be
I will hold you cause you belong to me
You're never alone cause I'll be with you
For all eternity

You're never alone
You're never alone


This song reminded me of the one thing I tend to forget amongst all my worrying, all my doubting, all my annoyances, and all the crazies of my world: that He is holding me ALL the time.
He never stops. Don't you just want to rejoice that God is there and will always be there? That He loves us, and is a God of the second chances? That He is a God of mercy, of compassion, of kindness, of hope, of love, of peace, of joy. That HE is...

Today that song, that fact, is keeping me going. Knowing that God has me, Little ol' me... In His Hands! I am never alone in my life because I am His! Now and forever until eternity. Thank you God.


Burger of Deliciousness = confidence.

So.. dealing with everyday demons is not fun. It stressful. Hard. Annoying. Trying. Exhausting. Complicated. Daunting.. You get the picture. But sometimes you come across a demon that isn't all that everyday. It can be. But you realize you are doing something that you never really thought you'd be doing. And you are searching and striving to be closer to God because you just love Him. Want to be near Him. Worship Him. Live for Him. And you realize that He is the only Way. 

But the demon you are fighting is strong and fighting harder and more viciously everyday and affecting you in a very personal way and ruining a part of your life that has always been normal. Now its not. But you decided to raise you voice like thunder. Praise God for change. Loving Him for changing you into the person He is making you to be. For His Glory! 

So despite the demon. Despite the personal problems affecting your actions. Despite the hardship. Despite the pain. Despite the stress, complicatedness, daunting feelings, confusion, doubt, fear.. You never stop believing that God is still GOD and He will never forsake you. 

Like Joshua.. God is calling us to be of good courage and to be strong and not to be afraid nor dismayed.. for the Lord our God is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:6-9). Also.. (Isaiah 43:2) When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

And in that.. (Philippians 4:13) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. 

Heh. Can I get an Amen?

So yes, demons suck. But we win with Jesus.

Btw.. God's Word = burger. When I read/eat it.. I have confidence. 

These songs I can listen to for God to fill me up.


I Want It All Back - Tye Tribbit

Speaking Louder Than Before - Jeremy Camp

Jesus Calling- 33Miles

Change inside of me - MercyMe

In The Blink Of An Eye - MercyMe

I Can Only Imagine - MercyMe

By Your Side - Tenth Ave. North

How He loves - Kim Walker

Motions - Matthew West

Everything Impossible - MercyMe