- I am far from perfect. I fear a lot of things; most realistic, yet all irrational because the only thing I should truly fear is God. I find myself fearing the little things and being afraid of God. I fall every day: I have cursed, I have judged, I have neglected to do God's Will, I have put my foot in my mouth countless times and I have given up. It is obvious that I cannot live life on my own. It is utterly impossible. I am dependent. I am needy. I am selfish. I am sinful. I am human.. However, the most important thing about me; I am forgiven.
When I look at life from time to time, I begin to realize it goes by so quickly. Truly as it is said in James 4:14 "How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like a vapor- its here for a little while, then gone."
It is 2010.
I started this blog/what's on my heart/ journal in March of 2009.
It has almost been a whole year. A whole year since I started back into my youth group and drama team. I whole year since I turned sixteen. A whole year since I graduated high school. A whole year since I started talking to my close friend, NP. I am a whole year older. A whole year closer to the time I leave for my eternal home.
A whole year.
I can't even imagine it, but I can. I have to. It is almost already February.. soon I'll be getting a job, going to college, getting a car, my license. I'm growing up and I'm gaining responsibility. Learning how to manage money, time, relationships.. my laundry. :p But really.
I don't want to forget how much God taught me. Who God used to teach me. And my, not resolution, but my promise to myself, for this year.
So, I'm gonna write about what God has given me in the past year and this already passed month in 2010.
God taught me He loves me. - How He Loves by Kim Walker.
God taught me to stand up for myself.
God taught me that peace is trusting in Him not in the facts.
God taught me to let go to receive His blessings.
God taught me that the people who are supposed to be in my life, will be, because they let HIM use them.
God taught me that family is everything (aside from Him).
God taught me that my mother is my best friend until I marry.
God taught me that life is over quickly.
God taught me to live in the moment.
God taught me to not worry.
God taught me to speak and claim, in His name.
God taught me to believe in the power He's given me.
God taught me that my church is my family.
God taught me to pray.
God taught me to have faith.
God taught me so much.. and He's still teaching me. There is so much that I don't know. So much that I forget. So much that I want to know still.
So this year, actually starting on December 25th 2009, I decided to memorize a bible verse a week. I have. I have done 4 so far seeing as it has been 4 weeks.. but I've got them. They are in my heart for when I need them. And these 4 verses are what I need to remember right now.
Behold, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy and nothing will injure you. Luke 10:19.
Those who have their mind set on you, you keep completely whole and steady on their feet because they keep at it and don't quit. Keep at it and don't quit, for in the Lord God you have a sure thing. Isaiah 26:3-5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6.
The Lord can be trusted for new mercies each morning. Deep in my heart I say the Lord is all I need; you can depend on Him. Lamentations 3: 22-24.
These are my verses so far. They are His light in me for when the world is dark. Thank you God, for continuing to teach me and showing me you are with me.
Memory verse for this week: Do not fear for I am with you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you in my Righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
I can say so much about how i have been so confused in the past. Well.. no longer. Confusion is not of the Lord and I rebuke it in the Name of Jesus.
All my relationships will be and will always be be founded on Jesus and if it is not, I know it will fail. I won't let it happen again. I'm tired of hurting people and I'm tired of being hurt. I know it's a part of life but if God is founded at the base of all my relationships it won't be so bad.
I will make mistakes, but I'm not longer confused. Everything is in God's hands and everything will stay there.