About Me

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I am far from perfect. I fear a lot of things; most realistic, yet all irrational because the only thing I should truly fear is God. I find myself fearing the little things and being afraid of God. I fall every day: I have cursed, I have judged, I have neglected to do God's Will, I have put my foot in my mouth countless times and I have given up. It is obvious that I cannot live life on my own. It is utterly impossible. I am dependent. I am needy. I am selfish. I am sinful. I am human.. However, the most important thing about me; I am forgiven.



It's almost distracting to be outside right now. Distracting and absolutely breathtaking all at once. Sigh. That describes my life as of late. Full of distraction and breathtaking moments.

I sat down on my front porch with Lemon ice-tea and a cold turkey sandwich on whole grain bread( I do eat healthy! Please don't gripe at me because I have a few chips too).  My stomach feels extremely full, and my head feels almost starved. I cannot help but think of how my life is right now, where I am going, what I am doing, how I am acting, what or who I am missing. I feel the breeze on my skin and I know if I were with you right now, I wouldn't feel so cold. I actually sat down to work on my essay, but I felt the urge to write. Write for you and write for the few others who dare to read what I feel on a day to day basis.

I am not going to say that I am worrying, that I am scared, that I am impatient. Because even though I am all of those things.. I know I am in His hands. That He has plans for me to prosper me and not harm me. That one day, we will have our time.

I cannot wait to tell others when they ask what my ring means, that it isn't a promise to wait, but that a promise to stay together. To tell them that it once was a promise to wait, and that we now have been married for 'X' amount of years. I cherish the ring you have given me because even though it is only a material object, big and bulky :P, it puts a peaceful smile on my face because it is a physical part of you, with me, always.

I am used to it already, but I have no idea what our next year is going to bring. There is so much that you are doing.. for His glory and your growth. I am so proud of you and everything you are doing. I know I am not helping any, ahha, so I'm sorry. But I do understand, and I support you. I do.

Now I am really really cold so I am going inside and back to my current reality of my essay. I pray I get to talk to you soon. If I do not, I will be seeing you soon. I know this.

I love you. Oh so muchhhhh.