About Me

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I am far from perfect. I fear a lot of things; most realistic, yet all irrational because the only thing I should truly fear is God. I find myself fearing the little things and being afraid of God. I fall every day: I have cursed, I have judged, I have neglected to do God's Will, I have put my foot in my mouth countless times and I have given up. It is obvious that I cannot live life on my own. It is utterly impossible. I am dependent. I am needy. I am selfish. I am sinful. I am human.. However, the most important thing about me; I am forgiven.




I have been ungrateful.

I have complained doing simple work.

I have not rested in God.

I have not given it back to God.

Things I realized:

~I don't want to be the girl looking at the clock and waiting for a phone call. I enjoy talking on the phone, but I don't want it to be a priority, but a treat. Today I didn't deserve a treat. I've done nothing, and I've been rude and not acting like Christ, haven't even really honestly tried. I could if I wanted to. I just don't really want to.. which is why I am in this blah mood. Because I've been lazy and haven't done anything with Christ's attitude.

~I should still praise God for being Him and loving me and being my God when I don't act right. When I ignore what I should be doing. When I become lazy. When I dwell on crap and when I put otherthings before Him.

Because He still chose me. Through alllllll of my stupidity. Through all of my not wanting to follow Him. He chose me. When a milllllion of other days, I could be doing the right thing and he could choose me then, He chose me today. On my bad day. As well as those good days. I should still work for His Glory on my bad days. Because many people can be good on good days, and follow God on good days. But its on the bad days that counts, its the bad days when people see you get up and choose to follow Him.

God, I choose to follow you. Today. On my bad day. Without comfort from people. Without peace. Without feeling. Because You deserve it and I never do. Because you love me when I choose not to love You. Just because You are You.

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