About Me

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I am far from perfect. I fear a lot of things; most realistic, yet all irrational because the only thing I should truly fear is God. I find myself fearing the little things and being afraid of God. I fall every day: I have cursed, I have judged, I have neglected to do God's Will, I have put my foot in my mouth countless times and I have given up. It is obvious that I cannot live life on my own. It is utterly impossible. I am dependent. I am needy. I am selfish. I am sinful. I am human.. However, the most important thing about me; I am forgiven.


Dreamer Part one.

Chapter One.

"Time passed. Then Ordinary woke up with these words echoing through his mind: What you are missing you already have.." Could it be? Ordinary looked and looked. And then he discovered that in a small corner of his heart lay a Big Dream. The Big Dream told him that he, a Nobody, was made to me a Somebody and destined to achieve Great Things."

When I really look at this paragraph all I can think of is that The Dream Giver (Jesus) has a plan for my life and the "Great Things" I am made to achieve are anything everything that I do for the Honor and Glory of God. Which could be saying hello to a friend. Or doing a chore without asking. Or serving in an area of life that I don't like to serve in. But I also think that I am made for something bigger. Something I can't even imagine because it's so big.

And I think my dream is to own a Coffee Shop or be a missionary.. my own business.. or traveling to other places showing God's Love. I don't even know how both came up as a solid "Dream". My graduation was coming closer and closer and I felt like I had to choose what I wanted to do. I didn't want to go into college without an idea as to what I want to do for a living. I already had two things I loved to do.. Coffee, and missioning. But those two seem soooo major opposites on the occupation list that I'd have to choose between two different schools.

Now which college?

I'm not exactly sure if I want to go to a Masters Commission or Community College. Either would work.. and I'd be doing something I love.. but is it really my dream?

"After a while, Ordinary began to worry that maybe he hadn't received a Big Dream.. Maybe he'd just made it all up."

I had this question asked to me after I stated my doubt of whether it's something I wanted to do or if I just came up with it because I felt pressured: "Who do you think put it in your mind?" I laughed like I was stupid. The Dream Giver of course. Even if it feels like a Small Dream right now.. insignificant honestly. If I don't put the Dream Giver into my dream.. of course it wont be Big!

If I put the Dream Giver into my coffee shop.. it could be so big! It could grow into one of the biggest Christian hangouts where new bands could get their music out so that their ministry can reach nonchristians. It could grow into a Big smalltown safe haven for young teenagers from a stressful school day or a family who puts restrictions on them that don't make sense. It would have insightful and inspiring notes from the bible and pastors around the world which if someone read.. could change the outcome of their day completely! And I'd be fulfilling my Ultimate Dream. To do everything until the Glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31. Plus some coffee of course. But really. If I put the Dream Giver into my life.. my life will be the Big Dream in my heart and I can do anything!

" Father' said Ordinary, 'I'm growing sadder by the day. I don't like my Usual Job anymore. In fact, I think I hate it'. Father looked up. That is terrible! What happened?'. Before he could stop himself, Ordinary started talking about the Dream giver and about his Big Dream. ' I was made to be a Somebody and achieve Great Things!' He said. And then he told his Father the name of his Big Dream. As he spoke, his voice trembled. He was sure that his Father would laugh or call him a fool. But his Father didn't. 'I'm not surprised to hear you say these things,' he said. 'You're not?' said Ordinary. 'No,' his Father said. ' You've had that Dream ever since you were little. Don't you remember? You used to build that same dream with sticks and mud in the from of this very house.' Then Ordinary did remember. He'd always had his Dream! It was what he wanted to do, and what he'd always thought he'd be good at doing. His eyes filled with tears. 'Father,' he said, ' I think I was born to do this.'

I think I would be good at owning a business. Especially a coffee shop. Ever since I've read the book A Delirious Summer I loved the idea of a coffee shop that was dedicated to Jesus. In the book it was a mission and everything they earned went to God. It wasn't a profit based business. Someday.. I want to do that.

"Time passed. Ordinary worked hard on his plan to begin his Dream. He made hard choices. He made difficult changed. He even made big sacrifices. Finally, one morning, he was ready. Ordinary ran to his Usual Job, his Dream pounding hard in his chest. As soon as he saw Best Friend, Ordinary blurted our the news: 'That big Dream I told you about.. I've decided to pursue it!'. Best Friend looked concerned. ' You know as well as I do that Nobodies who pursue their dreams leave Familiar,' he said. 'They set off like fools into the Unknown, in search of a place where--' 'Yes, yes, I know!' Ordinary broke in, ' and I can't wait to get started!' 'But Ordinary, that journey is anything but sensible or safe. Why leave Familiar? It's so comfortable here. And besides, you've always lived here.' 'I've thought about all that, too,' said Ordinary. 'But my Big Dream is too important and too wonderful to miss.' Best Friend shook his head.'So you're going to become a Dreamer,' he said. 'I am a Dreamer!' answered Ordinary. ' Today I'm going to tell my Boss that I'm leaving my Usual Job. Tomorrow I will begin my journey. Hey, Best Friend,' added Ordinary eagerly, 'you can have my recliner and my box!' And with that, Ordinary walked away, humming a tune that he's never heard before."

My Ultimate Dream is to do everything for the Glory of God. I love coffee and I love missioning. So I am going to pursue it with all I have.

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