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I am far from perfect. I fear a lot of things; most realistic, yet all irrational because the only thing I should truly fear is God. I find myself fearing the little things and being afraid of God. I fall every day: I have cursed, I have judged, I have neglected to do God's Will, I have put my foot in my mouth countless times and I have given up. It is obvious that I cannot live life on my own. It is utterly impossible. I am dependent. I am needy. I am selfish. I am sinful. I am human.. However, the most important thing about me; I am forgiven.

1.22.2011

BINGBINGBINGBING: attitude check!

Today has been hard. I've been really trying this week, especially since I've had my last emotional break down on my mother and best friend, and I don't feel successful at all today. In any area.

My mind.
My attitude.
My emotions.
My job.
My confidence..

Sigh.

And today I've been really slow.

I know there are days that I will fail, but in choosing confidence for my one word, I have to physically, emotionally and spiritually choose (more like force myself) to be confident and not discouraged.

What I'm working on are not easy things to change. But things I know that only God can change in me because I know if I tried to on my own, man.. I'd fail miserably. And He can only change me if I'm honestly willing to let Him do so. And lately I've not been willing.

So my prayers are "God.. please change my attitude towards (enter area of life that currently sucks here) because I know it's not right and I want to be better".

So far, this week I've mostly been working on my attitude at work. I've found myself in a habit of being negative whenever dealing with an irritable customer. If I'm doing something on the sales floor and that stupid annoying bell is hit numerous times rung, I have to practically sprint up the aisle to take care of that annoying,  our regular customer (one that also likes to argue with me and I can't even understand a word they say to begin with) or they become pissy at me. It's also rung like that while I'm standing two feet away from said customer.

Needless to say. It was easy to fall into that rut.

So I'm praying whenever I hear that bell, that God changes my attitude.

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