One Word

Confident

That.. adjective.. is so far from who I think I am. I've never been confident in who I am. In what I decide for myself. In how I live. In what i believe. In my actions. In my words. In my art. In my voice. In my looks. In my relationships. In my family. In my friends. In my job. In my church. In my entire life. 

I've never felt confidence, or when I have felt confidence, it has only been for a second because I have either succeeded at a task or received a compliment for how I handled something. Or just because I was admired..
But then I usually went right back to doubting myself and ultimately, God. I never believe what was told to me.

And that is wrong of me. To not believe I can do and be the best I can be. God made me in His image! Who am I to say I'm not good enough? (Genesis 1:27)

SO, this new year. Instead of making a list of 'new year resolutions' to 'fix myself' (which I never do anyway, new years resolutions I mean).. I'm going to choose to follow the One Word Challenge): mine is to be confident in every area of my life. (I was just searching through blogs online and I found this link to this other blogger's page who followed the challenged to this other blogger's page who followed the challenge.. haha, to the one who started this very personal challenge for herself..)

I once read somewhere, " If it's something I cannot do without God, it is something I know He wants me to do. Because if I didn't need Him to help me, would I really grow to my full potential?"

This is going to be hard. I'm going to fail many times. But I'm going to be confident in 2011.