More than me.

Sometimes you just are fed up with turning the other cheek; fed up with forgiving over and over and over again; fed up with letting everything and anything hurtful slide off your back. Sometimes you just want to scream back something and not care about that the achy feeling inside you. 

I really don't know what to say about this feeling except that it sucks. Every single time I get into an argument with my brother about whatever.. I try my hardest to go back and apologize. I don't like having a bull and red cape relationship with him.

I don't know how to fix it, or even how to ignore it when it hurts for God to fix it. I feel like it just keeps coming back worse and worse. But the thing is.. I've tried giving him his space.. It's like it didn't do squat.

Sigh.. but I know that I need to keep turning the other cheek, keep no record of his wrongs and still love him  through the hurt. It's all I can do actually.

Jesus did that for me. And I sinned. I sin. He's hurt by that more than I am hurt by my brothers hurtful words.